Bird Brained

I had quite the unwelcome guests in my apartment last night. Living twenty floors up, I never considered keeping my windows open to be dangerous. Honestly, is someone stupid enough to take a really, really big ladder and try to break in? Well, two someones with wings were stupid enough.

Let’s rewind a smidge. 8pm. After a twelve hour work day, I enter my apartment with a sigh. Peace, quiet, clean (okay, not really it was a disaster, but this is my story retelling and not yours.)

I first noticed something was awry when I saw that my once beautiful orchid (which I got for Valentine’s Day from my honey)’s petals were strewn about the floor. Had it gone from hero to zero in twelve hours? And wait…my finally mature basil is gone? Just when I planned to make a huge pot of sauce… and the coriander? (I dunno what I planned to do with my coriander… tacos?). Okay, I digress. Point is- all my fresh plants were gone. So unless maintenance came in, massacred my plants and then decided to take a poo on my computer…something was very wrong.  Not that maintenance doing that wouldn’t be wrong, because I’d definitely complain.

Just then, while examining my apartment for more evidence, I notice a small blob of gray and red underneath my fridge. There was the culprit! Frightened, I run across the hall and grab my neighbors. The next hour or so is such a blur. Visions of Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” were on repeat in my brain. All I remember is a lot of nervous laughing and squealing on my part and my ever brave British neighbors catching temporary pet #1.

Oh maaaaintenance… How about some screens for my windows? And some antibacterial wipes. Oh, and a bird flu shot.

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